Have You Met Your Soulmate? I Have. Let Me Show You Nancy.

July 22, 2019

Post # 1

Gentle reader,

We are all given free will. Many of us, especially those who belong to the Presbyterian Church, believe that our path in life is chosen for us. Presbyterians call it "predestination".

When Nancy was born, I was eight and a half years old. I was more than 3000 miles away from Puerto Rico in 1965. 

Being a normal boy, marriage and "soulmates" were concepts that never entered my mind. Cars and playing and an active imagination, fueled by reading lots of books, were what kept me busy.

Getting back to predestination, God allows us to make our own choices in life. He will give us clues, usually someone else in our life will be trying to guide us. Or, as often has happened to me, a "small voice" will suggest I do something. If I follow the suggestion, I'm fine, if not, I'm screwed. It has happened too often to be a fluke or my imagination. I like to think it's a guardian Angel.

Nancy's family moved to Virginia when she was two. She lived in the same house growing up with two much older sisters. Look at that face, wasn't she adorable?

She went to an elementary school literally across the street from where I was working when God brought us together 27 years after she moved to Virginia.

In order to let her bangs grow out, her mother (whom I never met) pulled her hair back like this.

Nancy, like her sisters and mother before was very slender. As was I as a child. She was 14 in this photo.

She is perched upon a fender of one of her Dad's Model A Fords. He was an airline jet plane mechanic all of his career. He liked to work on and restore cars for fun.

Dressed for high school graduation in 1983 she is posed in front of her Ford Mustang II, her second car. Her first being a 1963 Ford Falcon which her dad bought for her. It had a six-cylinder engine with "three on the tree" manual transmission. So she learned to drive a "stick" from the beginning.

We met in the Spring of 1995. I had purchased a 35mm SLR camera with 50mm lens and a generic flash for $100 at a pawn shop. My first time in such a shop.

I knew nothing about fancy cameras, having had a green plastic camera from Sears as a kid and the only camera we could afford (in a previous life*) was a 110 film camera from J.C.Penney.

As such, I was sitting on the couch in her parent's living room, I had gotten the film loaded, attached the flash and pointed it at her. I pressed the shutter button and got this shot.

She had bought a kit to make a tiny Bonsai tree with copper wire and green stones. Which is what she was doing there.

*We choose to refer to our first, failed marriages as "In a former life...".

Since I was learning about photography, and that camera was manual focus, some of my early efforts were slightly out of focus. 

Out of focus or not, there is no question, she is a beautiful woman. 

These three photos were from a day when we visited Baltimore Harbor. I'd never been and it was lots of fun. Especially because of my company.

When we met, both of us were divorced and in our first romantic relationships since being released from our vows. 

I had seen her when we were both married, she'd come to work for the company I worked part time for. She hired as the receptionist. I found all kinds of "reasons" to walk past her desk in those days. She was breathtaking.

Getting back to predestination and females. To my surprise, girls then later women, were really attracted to me. As a teen, I did not know what to do with or say to a girl. So I did nothing.

Despite all the attention they paid to me, I was at a loss as to responding to their advances.

While a number of girls wanted my attention and time in my school years, I did not get up the nerve to ask one out until I was a senior in high school. Hormones finally had gotten the best of me.

Later, after moving to Virginia in 1974, again I was surprised at the number of girls, then women making it clear they wanted my attention. 

If I had reacted years earlier, I would have had far more knowledge and experience than I did when I met who would soon me my wife.

My parents and younger siblings moved from Richmond to northern Virginia when I was 19. I stayed. My sister made friends up there and asked me to come up one weekend to participate in the church's college age youth group, all-night bowling. I'd never bowled, but agreed when she said "______ wants to meet you". 

I'd had a few girlfriends in Richmond, but at the time did not have one.

To cut short what could be a very long story, ______ and I eventually hooked up and she worked her feminine wiles upon me. We planned to wed some months later.

Remember when I said above, "someone else in our life will be trying to guide us"? Her brother-in-law drove down to Richmond to tell me, "Don't marry her, she's crazy." I didn't listen. The next weekend, her FATHER drove down and gave me the same message. I didn't listen. 

Soon after, she got in a fight with her parents over wedding plans and they kicked her out. So we got married immediately. Dad was a Minister and we already had the marriage license. So why not?

I had had to get a part time job because she wanted to stay home a pop out a new baby every two years. I had the old "V" operation after baby #4. Four parents hands, four little hands to hold. No more hands available.

Since ______ wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, I had to work two jobs. Looking through the Washington Post want ads, I spied "Insurance Investigator". I interviewed and was hired. The office was near by my full time work location. Seemed to be ideal.

Thirteen years of misery and four kids later, I finally found a spine donor and gave ______ the divorce she wanted. What kept me there was not wanting to leave the kids. 

I worked there before, during and after the divorce, with a break in between trying other part time jobs. When I tired of those, I called my old employers. They eagerly asked me to come back to work. That is when I saw that Nancy was still there.

I chose to learn from my divorce, I read many books on relationships and growing. I found that some of _____'s complaints about me were valid. I attended counseling. I was determined to improve myself and move forward, not just on.

I vowed to do nothing with a female for the first year of my new freedom. And I did nothing unless it was in a group. A Methodist church, recommended by my Presbyterian pastor, had  a large adult singles group with Sunday classes.  So I began attending there.

There I met not one, but two women named Lisa. The first, a gorgeous redhead had a boyfriend, but still wanted to go out with me, (a recurring theme in my life). The second Lisa was a friend of a woman in the group who had told her about me. We began dating and it started out not well. After a while she told me that she knew she was but a weigh station in my life. She was correct. Nonetheless, I stuck with her.

I warned not to marry _____, Nancy's parents made it clear they did not like ___. We both chose to marry the wrong people. Two girls were issued in her marriage. She stuck with him mainly for the girls sake. The divorce was terrible on her and the kids.

The point I am making is many choices I had made and many choices Nancy had made led us to be working at the same place at the same time. Both now divorced. She was moved into my department and I got up the nerve to say something to her. I suggested lunch. She readily agreed to my surprise and delight. The next day she disappeared. 

I asked the boss's secretary what happened to Nancy. "Oh, she had some medical problems." "Oh, is she all right?" "Yes, getting better, and will be coming back to work soon." "Uh, could I have her address, I'd like to send a card." "Sure, do you want her number too?""That would be great."

I handwrote a letter to her and mailed it. Her retired Dad, who also also had a house in Puerto Rico and lived there ten months out of the year, was in Virginia to give her a hand (she was living with the girls at his house after the divorce) while she was on the mend. He saw the letter and asked, "Who is this man and why is he writing to you?" "Dad, he's someone I work with and I don't know why he wrote because you are holding his letter." 

She read my letter, was touched and when she came back to work, thanked me for it. "We have yet to go out to lunch." I said. "Well, let's go tomorrow."

We started going out as friends. I was the consummate gentleman. Strictly platonic. I've never cheated on anyone. We did a number of things together over the coming months. One time, she drove and as I was about to get out of her car, she reached out, grabbed my face and kissed me! "Wow, what was that for?" "I got tired of waiting for you to kiss me." Well what about ____ and Lisa?" "Do you care more for her than you do me?" "Frankly, no." "And I care for you more than I care for ____." So we both broke up with them that night. It did not go over well.  

So, now freed, we began to expand out months long friendship by adding romance to it. I could not have been more happy.

This is a new experience for me. I have a blog, called The Robb Collections, which I write about and show photos of the many things we collect. A Google search will find it.

So, writing so personally about our lives, and trying to protect the identities of others, is quite different. My hope is that it will inspire others that somewhere out there very likely is your soul mate. 

Please keep tuned for future articles and a lot more Pictures of Nancy.

Scott
July 22, 2019